School

Coming Full Circle: First Author Visit
- Lifestyle, School
Mixed Emotions

After a few weeks of preparation and years of going through life, all summed up in one book. The day, December 20, 2022, has come when I take another step in healing. I would speak with students about my journey of writing a book.
Yes, you read that correctly. A book. Nine chapters explaining my truth.
I am stepping on the other side of the road where I am the adult, not a kid. Not as a teen. A graduate from high school and undergrad, not just a teen waiting to graduate. The person who will speak words of encouragement, give advice and identify pain points that have shaped my life.
Many emotions have run through my body: excitement for a new opportunity and experience, nervousness about stepping out of my comfort zone, anxiety because I do not know how it will turn out, and I want to present myself well. I will give three presentations to three different grades where I once was. A moment of history, a moment of reflection, a moment of awe.
As I drove toward EBA. Flashbacks are spinning in my mind; my mom, when she could, drove me to school—walking to class, putting stuff in my locker, going to band class, and doing countless projects in the computer lab and classroom. I start to feel tears coming down my face. I pray to God, telling Him that He has anointed me and made me for this moment. He would not have given me this moment if He didn’t think I was not ready.
As I walk towards the library, more questions pop into my head: who will I impact? What do I want to leave behind? All I ask is for one. Much prep has gone into this presentation, such as words of encouragement and affirmation.
This opportunity came at a great time. I have two amazing women coming to support me. They were a part of the life group I led at Koinonia. One took pictures while the other coached me through the presentation.

First Presentation: 6th grade

While sitting up in the library, Miss Cox, the media coordinator, helped me organize the visit alongside Miss Kennedy, a school counselor at E.B.Aycock. Miss Kennedy bracelet introduced me this year before she had to attend her zoom meeting. Some of the students were eager to ask questions about how I got interested in writing when I started writing and how many books I had written before Miss Kennedy introduced me. Throughout the presentation, I engaged with the students by asking them some questions; to hear their experiences about what they liked about middle school and what they missed about elementary school.
After concluding the presentation, they were passionate about knowing what I saw while I traveled, the process of writing a book, and what advice I will give to young, inspiring authors. So many other great questions. Some students stay behind to get me to sign copies of my book. Someone asked if I brought any books with me cause they wanted to read. One of the students named E came up to me and said he was going to read my book and compare some of the experiences that he was going through. He had told me that he wanted to write a book about his experiences and wanted to thank me in his book. There were plenty of thoughts in my mind:
I said yes to writing a story that impacted teens/preteens to write their own stories.
Knowing my willingness to be open encouraged others
I saw out a promise to reach my target audience in person
I impacted more than one person
I also realized how successful I was. Despite many thoughts of fear and feeling like a failure, these students saw me as successful. I accomplished reading a book as a young adult. They were able to relate to some of the things I wrote. They said they enjoyed reading my book. Everything I know Holy Spirit and other people in my circle told me. After taking a quick picture, he left to go back to class. I jumped for joy.
Two people who came out to support me. Adonica is in the center, and Tanya is on the right.
Adonica, my friend/coach, told me how proud she was of me. Proud of me. She knew how much I had to step out and put my went on this opportunity to speak. To hear her say that meant that she was pleased with how I spoke, engaged, and interacted with the students. Our hard work had paid off. Of course, there are still ways to improve. The first one down was a massive step in the right direction. And I couldn’t have been happier. Adonica had to leave shortly after because of other activities she had planned. But I know she left confident that the other two presentations would be just as good as the first. And she was right.

Deeper COnversation: 8th Grade

This presentation unlocks the door to expressed interest in mental health. One of the young, black teen girls as if I had depression, and I was honest and said yes. When the presentation concluded. Quite a few black girls stayed behind to ask questions about depression and mental health. They asked: how do you deal with depression? What do you do when you have depression? What made you speak up to talk about your depression?
I guided the girls in my experience with depression and what it looks like and what you may not think it looks like. I told them I coped with everything by acting happy, being poised, and having good grades. I covered up because I had a hard time trusting people. That was me then, a scared teen unable to reach out. The adult I now want to be a voice for people who didn’t realize they had options and they were available to them—huge props to these girls for being bold to ask questions. I’m glad they felt comfortable in a library to ask and discuss it with me.

In-Between Conversations

Tanya, a friend who was taking pictures, told me how she was excited for me. The students were eager and paid attention to what I had to say that I left them wanting more. That I made them hungry. I saw some former teachers: Mrs. Pou, my 6th-grade math teacher, and Mr. Flowers, my 6th-grade ELA teacher. Miss Kennedy stayed during the 8th-grade presentation and eventually the 7th grade. She said she saw a different side of the kids. Some of the students were troubled students from various reasons. That they saw how relatable I was, and they saw themselves in my story. Another surreal moment was when I saw Miss Cox start to label my books for the students to check out to read. Seeing what I went through was worth it because my words matter to these kids. Hope will be instilled because they can see how it got better for me; their circumstances will improve despite how they feel in their current situation. Some will use my book as a reference to writing their book. My book will be a part of my middle school even beyond me. I left my legacy for future middle schoolers to read.

Last One... For Now: 7th grade

This grade is right in the middle. They were still wondering how to make friends and how to deal with Lily. They asked whether I remembered the words spoken to me when I was bullied. Yes and no. I remember some of the things the bullies have said to me, some of which I don’t remember because I blocked them out of my mind to protect myself. Another question asked if I saw any of the people that bullied me. And I told him that I didn’t interact with any of the people who bullied me. However, I do wish them well in their life. I told the students that I didn’t blame them for how they bullied me because I didn’t know what went on in their homes and what they saw.
It could be why they reacted the way they did because they don’t feel like they have a voice in their home, so I don’t blame them. One of the students, called Y, wanted to talk 101 with me. I could see myself in her shoes. She was quiet, shy, a little timid quiet, and a little scared to speak up in front of others; she told me about her situation with her mom and her two younger sisters, some bullion that had happened, and her financial problems, I gave her some of us based on what she told me. I hugged her and told her to reach out if she needed me; she could talk to Miss Kennedy or Miss Cox for my email.

Summary

I made it. I am still here. I got the chance to see the impact and did what I said I would do. I had to chance to help teens/preteens, and they reached out for advice. I told Miss Kennedy I would like to meet with them again in the spring.

Encouragement

Teleaha, this is for you to remember. This is for you to remember. Take the time to reflect on this post, and remember that your words and voice have power! All you have to do is believe. You are gifted and anointed to help these middle schoolers. Keep persevering and keep your head held high. You got this! Some people in your life right now genuinely care about you and want to see you go after better. There are more people out there who need you.
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Going Downtown for The First Time
- Lifestyle, School
Date: Around Beginning of May 2019

A friend met up with me after I helped out with the department of Psychology graduation on Friday, May 8th. I was a junior marshal. My friend, Aicha, said that she was going to celebrate her 21st birthday party tomorrow (Saturday night). I told her that I would come to celebrate with her and her friends. Side note, I really that she was older because of the way she partied when we were in France a few months back. Anyway, she “snapchatted” me what apartment complex she was living in and the plans for that night. From 10-12 pm, the guests would play/chat/drink at the apartment. Once midnight struck, we would go downtown using Uber and bar hop.
You have to understand that I have NEVER been downtown before. Me being the introvert that I am, being in crowded places and going to social events that deal with a lot of people drains my “social battery” quickly. Lucky I was with another person named Megan, who understood the feeling I was going through. Just thinking about being in a cramped place (mostly) gave me anxiety and something I was not looking forward too. Megan and I met once before at a French minor/major soiree a couple of weeks prior.
Anyway, I chatted with a couple of people at Aicha’s apartment as more guest was coming to her place to celebrate her becoming legal. As midnight was approaching, Aicha asked me if I wanted to go out with them. Oh boy, here comes my indecisive brain making choices. I told her that was not entirely sure if I wanted to go out. Downtown wasn’t my type of scenery. Regardless of what my decision was, she thanked me for coming out.
After a few minutes of arguing back and forth in my head, I finally decided to go downtown with my friend and her crew. When we arrived downtown, I did not realize that I would need to cash with me. Reminder: Partying and going downtown are not my typical scenery on a Saturday evening. We get to the first club called Still Life. They told us that it would be five dollars to get in the club or any club downtown for that matter.
Rant: I know some people who go downtown or party every weekend, especially being in college. I know I cannot afford to go clubbing like some partygoers. Spending five dollars will add up, plus whatever you spend on food and drinks. I repeat, I couldn’t do it or afford it.
They told us to get in the VIP line but it was to do so since you needed a card. So Megan and I went to a bar down the road. I did not like this bar, it was too crowded and you had to bump people in order to move around. We each got one drink and waited for the rest of the party to get out of the Still Life. At least 10 minutes went by when they texted us that they were leaving.
Megan and I waited on the curb and I tipsy and drunk college students. Some wobbling and some have people assisting them to walk. At this point, I was already to go home because my battery was beeping and telling me that I did to recharge and go to bed. I wanted something to eat as well but I left my car at Aisha’s apartment complex.
Long story short, we went to one more bar before Aicha went home early because she felt nauseated. Megan and I took a Lyft back and I dropped her to her place. And I was finally able to get some to snack on before going to bed.

Word of Advice

Be willing to try something that makes you comfortable because it is the only way to see what you will be able to handle. Uncomfortable situations helps us develop as a person and you will learn new things about ourselves that we may not have known if we didn’t step out of our comfort zone.

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Debating One Dropping That Class
- Lifestyle, School
Date: 1/8/2019

I am currently debating whether I should take a class that has bad reviews on the teacher. Honestly, I am excited to take a class on my heritage, the History of African-Americans. I know that I am capable of taking this class, but I know last semester I was going through last with my mental health that it resulted in being burnout and lack the motivation to do anything. I am scared that it could possibly happen again this semester. I know I can be doubtful at times but I have to take care of my health, so one day I can give tips to others who might go through something similar.
Students in the past have said that this teacher, in particular, does not give good lectures and expects you to know what the teacher is talking about. I haven’t had too many professors that were like this, luckily for me but not for others. Despite the reviews online, I wanted to check out the professor myself. If the reviews were right then I would drop the class and hope I could add another class at the same time. If the reviews were wrong, then I would keep the class.
It is two in the afternoon, I am sitting in the class and the professor goes over the syllabus. One thing “ALL” students love. The professor said that there would only FOUR grades for the entire semester. Four! Two exams, a paper, and the final exam. I was screaming internally. My body was trying not to panic in front of my classmates. Does this professor not understand how bad having four grades can be? The exams and paper were worth 25% each. If I need bad on one thing, then I really have to make sure that I do well on the other things. I told my mother about the class and my current situation. She said that I should do what is in my best interest. So, I ended up dropping the class and getting another class that would complete my minor but I know others are not as lucky as I am.

What did I learn?

I learned that some professors are willing to work with students. I was surprised by how nice the Political science office lady was. She said that she was able to put me in the class since it was already full. I was thinking about a stereotypical scenario where I would sit at the desk and the professor would say that they could not do anything about it and I should have signed up for the class before it got full. However, the lady and I talked about what we did over the break. You know the one thing some introverts like me, don’t like small talk. I thanked her for helping me out and said “Happy birthday!” since she saw the 21st badge. I also helped that I had the professor before. He taught an intro to leadership course during my freshman year.

Encouragement

Make sure that you read the syllabus on how to email your professor. Some professors will let you know what to put in the subject heading. Most professors are willing to help you if you ask properly. A few professors might not answer their emails, the next thing to do is to visit them during office hours. When you look at your college department website, there is a section for you to look for faculty. Click on your professor’s name and it will give you the location of their office. The majority of professors will post their office hours. Visit the professor during their set hours to discuss why you would like to be in their class.
For those, you are able to switch the class, make a point to show up to the course you switched into. Especially if the professor helped you get into the class. When they see students who do not show up to class, the professor might not want to help other students switch into their class and it could mess up future opportunities for students who really need that class. Be a good student by being attentive in class. I know it can be hard since most students like to take their computer to surf the internet. Take a notebook instead. You will remember things better when you write your notes instead of taking notes. In case, you are a slow writer like me, take notes on the computer, then transcribe the notes on paper. Be creative and use different colored pens or highlighters to highlight important dates, vocabulary, etc.
For those, you are not as lucky to switch classes like I was, still try your best to succeed in the class. As you progress through the class and the class is harder than expected, go to the professor office hours to see if they are able to explain in detail what you did not understand from the homework, exams, quizzes, etc. If the professor is the kind that is too intelligent to explain it in layman’s terms, go to the tutoring center. The tutoring center would have tutors for the classes that are difficult. If there is no tutor for that class available, see if a classmate will explain what you do not understand. Assuming that your classmate says yes, look at how they take notes and make their study guides. If the classmate says no, then go online to read different articles and videos on concepts that are harder for you to grasp. You have the ability to use your phone and computer access information that some people in parts of the world do not know. Use it to your advantage.

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